One of the main reasons I feel so much anger is this, I get the feeling that you are leading me on the basis of :
If it goes right it's on you;
If it goes wrong it's on me.
Five Reasons I Should Not Quit...Yet. As much I'd like to think quitting will make any difference to them, it will not. It'll be a tiny and temporary little inconvenience that will be forgotten in less than a week. On the contrary, it will probably leave a lasting effect on me, with all the things and opportunities I might lose. Undoubtedly, the money is good. And though it might sound materialistic, I'm saying this with utmost practicality, the money is needed to survive in this society. Still not brave enough. I can try to summon courage to try harder, but to step out takes guts which I don't have yet. Good people. There are good people around. I shouldn't let the meanness of a few overshadow the good people. Perhaps you can find something new here. It's a big enough company, perhaps there is someplace else that fits you.
I wish for courage and patience, both in equal measure; To always have them in me, until one blurs into the other, Courage to go on, on days when my patience is at the end of my tether And on days when I am too weary, patience to endure, and persevere
After 3 years plus of doing this work, now post maternity leave, the heart is unpresent and somewhat unwilling to do more. I will be honest and say it's partly disappointment acting out, with the feeling that no matter how much I do it's not gonna be enough or hardly recognized, so why bother? Sigh... Have to get out of this rut somehow. Somehow.
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